About Us

  Mary Andrews

Certified Hands Analyst
Certified Human Design Guide
Certified Life Coach
Certified Laughter Leader (my favorite!)

   "At my 8th grade graduation from a strict parochial school, I received the "General Excellence" award.  While my parents were quite proud, I knew there was something not quite right and that it wasn't really the honor it appeared to be.

     Years later I realized that a more accurate name for it could have been the "Best Conformist" award.  I was excellent at following directions, impeccably following instructions, not questioning the rules and quietly doing whatever I was told, mainly out of fear.  I naively believed what all the adults in my life, at home, school, anywhere told me.  

   Creativity of any kind was not encouraged. I remember once being reprimanded in front of the class by a teacher as I watched her rip up my work because I decided to write my homework out in a pretty slanted font instead of the usual print font.  Being quite shy, I was mortified and petrified, and vowed to never again do anything different that might bring attention to myself. (ok, I know that sounds dramatic, but I was hormonal, emotional and 13!)

   My parents were loving and did the best they knew how, but the phrase, "No, you can't do that! What would people think? How would it look?" came up a lot.

   I was afraid to let the "real" me show. I was afraid to ever admit what I really wanted.  As time went on my true self was being buried deeper and deeper by the outer conditioning field, and I played roles that seemed "acceptable" to society, my family and friends. I eventually forgot what it was I buried in the first place. I tried to convince myself that this is just how life is, and that if I weren't happy, there was something wrong with me, or I'm just not doing it right.

    Depression ran in my maternal side of the family and I figured it was inevitable for me too.  I bounced from job to job, never quite finding my niche, trying to force myself to be happy, still believing there was something wrong with me. I married a great man, had 2 beautiful children and kept pushing.  

   Consciously I couldn't name anything specific that was "wrong."  In fact everything appeared to be fine. 

   Then on Halloween,about a month before my 40th birthday I was diagnosed with colon cancer.  How metaphorical - I was hiding my authentic self under a mask!

   Something shifted inside me as I contemplated the possibility of imminent death. I went through lots of fears, tears, regrets, bargaining, deep sadness, anger, blaming myself, my husband, my parents, and my 8th grade teacher.

   Then at one particular doctor's visit, the strangest feeling came over me.  As the doctor handed me a script for my next medical test, it felt like he just handed me a GET OUT OF JAIL FREE card! 

   At that moment, I gave myself permission to boldly follow my JOY. I didn't know how much time I had left to live, but I was going to spend it following my BLISS, something I had never allowed myself the pleasure of doing, or even thought of as an option! With whatever time I had left, I was going to do what felt right for me. No more forcing myself to do things I "should" want to do.

   And somehow I was going to do it and still be the best wife and mother I could!  I wanted my children to learn by my doing, not my talking, that living with joy is the best way to love the people around you.  No, the house wasn't as neat, and I counted ketchup as a vegetable more than a few times, but somehow it was fine, it was "perfect" for then. 

  My kids seemed happier too. That's because others feel our "vibe." We pass our vibes around just like we pass germs around when we shake hands, sneeze or kiss. If it were the last thing I did, I was going to show my children that it's ok, good! to be happy, and that it means something else for each person.

   That's what's meant by "The greatest gift I can give to others is my own happiness."   

   I had been an avid student of general self improvement books, tapes and coaching programs and had invested a LOT of time, money and energy over the years to "help" myself, but there was always something missing for me.   

   Most of the speakers and coaches I had been following had a "do it my way or you'll fail" attitude, and my insecurity fed right into it.  Eventually I realized that I WAS  doing it their way, but I was just feeling more inadequate and flawed.

   One mentor told me that my lack of results was because I didn't follow his instructions properly.  Knowing how great I was at blindly following directions (hey, I had a medal to prove it right?)  I realized that I needed to find that elusive missing element.

   It was time for me to dive into deeper spirituality and learn how to connect with my inner wisdom.

   I absorbed as much as I could from any source that called to my heart, including Hay House authors, and from ANY OTHER speaker, author or WHATEVER that just felt right to me.  

  I took any and all courses that were calling to my heart!

  For the first time in my life, I counted as a perfectly valid reason for doing or not doing things ~ "Because it feels right to me."  or "No. Why not? Because it just doesn't feel right for me."  PERIOD!  I didn't need to explain it, I just needed to TRUST it.

   This was a completely new way for me to live and make decisions.  I un-subscribed from all the "free" email newsletters that were unconsciously draining my energy, steering me off MY track, or causing me to feel inadequate in any way.

If it didn't feel good to me, I released it. I didn't even need to know why. If it felt good, I moved toward it.

I simply TRUSTED.

   Wow, this was AWESOME! I learned that intuition is not about trying, it's about ALLOWING.  That was fine with me since I didn't have much energy during my year on chemotherapy.  All I have to do is RELAX?  Wow, I could really get into this intuition stuff!

   I learned that it's about clearing out what doesn't serve - including limiting beliefs, resentments, and anything that might be blocking connection to Source. It's about being open to receiving guidance, trusting the guidance that  comes, and finally, having the courage to act on that guidance!  Following intuition is a process, not a "right" and "wrong."

   I was very excited to start listening to my intuition and feelings instead of all the "gurus" and leaders I had put my faith in.  I could feel immediately that this was going to be the most fun I've ever had!  And since I had cancer and might die soon anyway, for the first time in my life...

I didn't care what anyone thought!! Woo Hoo I was free!

(***NOTE ~ I have been healthy since my diagnosis in 2002.)

   This "follow your joy" thing was about to lead me down a path that in one fell swoop, would allow me the opportunity to:

- Deal with my FEARS about what other people think of me

- Practice and experiment with this new amazing connection with my INNER WISDOM

- Develop my SENSE OF HUMOR

- Learn to LOVE ALL OF MYSELF UNCONDTIONALLy, even the "bad" things and "flaws"

- Play with expressing my CREATIVITY

- Honor who I AUTHENTICALLY am

- Reevaluate my beliefs around PERFECTION and IMPERFECTION

- Have FUN while still being RESPONSIBLE and true to myself!

- Experience the power of GRATITUDE

- LAUGH!

- HEAL from the inside out, instead of just experiencing a superficial, incomplete "cure"

   How? Well, during the "cancer time" I kept a journal to help me deal with all the emotions and events that were occurring.  One day I wrote down that I should do a "cancer comedy" about my experiene.  That it would help not only my only healing, but that it would help others and have other benefits as well.  Oh, yeah, and I should call it ~

"THE POOPINATOR!"

   I IGNORED it the first time.  After all, I had NO - NADA - NOTHING - experience in writing, performing, acting, drama, comedy or public speaking.   I vowed to never bring attention to myself back in the 8th grade, remember?!  Now I'm supposed to go on stage in front of people, call myself the "Poopinator" and talk about the most difficult and embarrassing time of my life (so far :-) I don't think so!

   Well, when this idea still nudging me after a year, I decided that it wasn't going to leave me alone until I did it.

   Another year later, I was up on stage doing colon cancer comedy calling myself The Poopinator and having a BLAST.  I made a lot of "mistakes" but somehow it was "perfect".  The show called "The Poopinator: Patient 295" was born.  (www.Poopinator.com)

Sure I hit a lot of resistance about doing it from well meaning family and friends, trying to protect me, or others just appeasing me.  Not everyone I invited came to that first show, but there was a beautiful group of supportive people there, that years later, as I write this, I still get goose bumps of gratitude at their support and response.

   **That's when I first understood that we can't please everyone, and that I wasn't here for everyone. When we are authentic, the people who are aligned with us will find us, and we will find them.

   ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS BE OURSELVES, and everything else falls into place!

   The Poopinator taught me to love myself - even the parts I didn't like. The Poopinator taught me to be true to myself, to not worry what others think.  That the real PERFECTION is in the authentic creative expression. A wonderful "side effect" of being more loving and patient with myself, I naturally became more loving and patient with others as well.

   The Big Poop taught me to laugh at myself (with love, of course), to LAUGH MORE because it's good for me, to not be afraid to experiment, that we don't really make mistakes, to have more fun, to follow my joy, to worry less, and to trust more.

   It took a cancer diagnosis for me to start navigating my joy.  Instead of a mid-life crisis, I was given an opportunity for a "mid-life awakening."   I also know that it doesn't have to take such a dramatic event to turn around a life of quiet desperation into a life of joy and purpose.

   I believe part of my joyful purpose is to assist others who desire to live authentically but need a little boost.

   Navigating joy doesn't mean my life is always "happy", but it does mean that no matter what, I have an inner peace like never before. 

   And that is my wish for you too!"

   With much love and joy,

            Mary Andrews  xoxoxo

P.S.  If you are curious what my "Life Purpose" is according to Hand Analysis, it is the "Leading Artist."  I am in the school of Service, and my main "life lesson" is "self-esteem/guilt, believing I am worthy and good enough.  That explained a lot for me! 

In Human Design, I am a 4/6 Manifesting Generator.  Life is an interesting journey for sure!  xoxo

What's the "music" inside of YOU?

"Know you, Be you, Love you!"